In-2-Me-I-See — Gates Crashed
“I call intimacy as in-2-me-i-see cause that is what intimacy is to me, the sphere of life where one gets to clearly see ones self. It’s where i can completely be vulnerable without the fear of being shunned, rejected or shut-out. Intimacy is the cornerstone of all lives well lived. I’d rather be by myself than be in a loveless, infidelity rigged intimacy sphere. Perhaps the reason why am a bachelorette, haven’t yet met a man who loves me just the way am, loyal, completely committed to ‘us’. Am positive he is out there and longing for me as much as i for him and working his way to me. :-)” ~~~ Afrros Hudli
If you are living in 2021, you are across the current high visibility divorce of the Gates. It’s sad when people part ways, doesn’t matter if you know them on first name bases or not. There are pearls of wisdom from all that has come to light.
1. Marry the one whom you treasure as a confidant, friend, and supporter:
Mr. Gates had met Ann Winbald 1984-1987. She has been his confidant, supporter and friend even after their relationship ended in 1987. The two made time for each other once a year to spend quality time with each other long after calling it quits on their relationship in 1987. That honored commitment was a sign they wanted each other and were right for each other. Bringing a Melinda, Viv, grimes, Fox_Liv, Evelyn into the equation destroys the sanctity and peace of both hearts. Lesson: Don’t ignore your heart, your heart knows who makes you happy. And don’t allow a 3rd party past or future to ruin your sacred space.
2. If one partner is still in touch with their Ex, the other should gracefully walk away:
Melinda must have known about Ann and Bill’s interactions when she and Bill were discussing commitment. Melinda should have asked Bill to wrap up his sacred annual ritual with Ann as a token of his commitment towards each other. Failing which she should have gracefully walked away, it sure would have saved her a broken marriage. Lesson: Know your non-negotiables. Character over influence, money, accomplishments all put together any day sets a life well lived apart.
3. Stop living for Onlookers:
Bill comes from a generation where your life partner is suppose to be younger than you if you are a man. Ann was 5 years his senior. Onlookers perception must certainly have played into Bill’s indecision on committing to Ann and getting married to her. There will always be as many people who cheer you on as there will be who boo you. Lesson: Onlookers — keep them out of your intimate sphere. They should have no say in this sphere of your life.
4. Be honest in matters of Heart with each other:
With all that has come to light seems like the Gates relationship was long over. Had they been honest about their dead relationship perhaps they would have both been able to part ways amicably instead of drawing it out and in the process given each other a chance to start a loving harmonious relationship a decade or 2 ago. Lesson: Be honest with each other. Stop and understand each others deal breaker. Honor the deal breaker.
5. Your dirty laundry doesn’t need to go public:
Jeff Bezos divorced his wife too. We didn’t read a thing about their relationship disagreements or how broken their relationship was before they called it quits. Gates divorce is putting Bill on public trial. Personally I think it’s unnecessary and impolite. Lesson: Grace and Class in managing tough situations creates good will for all involved.
6. Save for a rainy day:
Bill was asked to step down from the Board of the company he created from scratch. Wow! If you are like me bootstrapping, you have gone all in. Bill’s journey is an eye opener. Lesson: One, ones Character is a gem of utmost value safe guard it. Second, you could lose all you have in a blink, plan for a rainy day.
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Author: Afrros Hudli
Bio: Artificial Intelligence, Board Director, Innovation Catalyst, Entrepreneur — https://www.afrrozhudli.com/about
Social Links: https://about.me/afrrosmhudli
